About six years ago the topic of secondhand stress arose around the neurological phenomenon of one taking on the feelings of another individual. Now, parents are taking on the stress of the world such as racial and/or gender injustices, a pandemic, and economic ruin in some cases. Parents must find ways to control their emotions, as emotions can spread to a child. While the stress can also be passed to a spouse—adults can recognize and vocalize their despair. Children often learn how to deal with emotions at home. So, it is important to be cognizant of emotions such as anxiety and stress.
Parents must learn stress tolerance, according to a clinical psychologist, Dr. Laura Kirmayer. This is done by forcing yourself to think rationally about things. Words, voice fluctuation, and facial expressions can all play a part in stressing children out. Now, doctors do not encourage parents to internalize or suppress their feelings. Instead, parents should talk through their feelings with children as it can assist a child in managing their own feelings.
All stress is not bad as it is simply part of life, but understanding what causes those emotions is important. A support group can assist with combating stress or anxiety. We are all simply doing our best and we must use the resources that we have, such as a church, or mental health professionals. If a person in the office or a chore appears to be the cause then, try to avoid that person or chore. Focus on being positive and surrounding yourself with other positive people. Do not try to be everything to everyone. Remember to take care of yourself first. Eat whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and unprocessed or refined foods.
There are studies that show teenagers, specifically females, develop depression twice as often as males. These same studies show that, oftentimes, a parent or family member also suffers from depression. In an article in the Portland Press Herald by Laura Bauer and Mara Rose Williams, experts say teens seem to feel more hopeless than in previous years. A recent study facilitated by Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University Psychology Professor discovers that high school and college students that were surveyed are dealing with anxiety and other mental health issues 5 times as much as a youth of the same age did during the era of the Great Depression (August 1929 – March 1933). It is especially true today that children know how much they are loved.
Pay close to children of all ages and watch their moods. It is equally important for parents to led by example. A great book for parents to learn about dealing with emotions is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns.
